Too Deep To Heal
by Magic-In-The-Air
Summary: Some cuts are just too deep to heal, Julia found this out the hard way. WARNING- COULD BE TRIGGERING TO THOSE RECOVERING FROM SELF HARM OR WITH SUICIDAL TENDENCIES! ref so as usual don't read if you don't like. Jarren one shot quite dark. Deals with main character death.


It was kind of beautiful in a way, watching the crease flood scarlet. Watching the little beads of blood well up until it filed the little crease and started to flow slowly downwards, forming a tiny crimson river.

The first time she did it she said she'd only do it once, she also said it every time since, but here she was once again watching the blood drip down her arm. Six months, six months since she had first held the blade. Six months since he died.

The next day Lauren turned up at her apartment and forced her to come shopping.

"It's not healthy, we all miss him but you can't spend your whole life indoors."

Lauren grabbed her left wrist to pull her forward and Julia couldn't help herself, she winced as pressure was put on the collection of fresh cuts there from the night before. Lauren noticed, she frowned saying.

"Julia, what's wrong with your arm?"

"W-What? Nothings wrong with my arm" she stammered trying to pull her wrist from Lauren's grip. She was unsuccessful however and a moment later Lauren was carefully pulling the thick wool of Julia's sweater up past her wrist to reveal a harem of scars and half healed cuts. Lauren gasped when she saw them and started to cry, she enveloped Julia in a hug saying;

"Oh my dead god Julia, I should have figured this out, you're my best friend. All this time. Julia baby I'll get you help."'

"I don't need your help!" Yelled Julia yanking her wrist out of Lauren's grip she ran back into Her apartment and locked the door, leaving Lauren stood in the corridor all alone. Julia didn't know what to do, so she ran into the bathroom and grabbed her blades.

Lauren went over to Brian and Meredith's apartment the next morning to tell them, maybe one of them could help her. She had spent yesterday in her apartment trying to figure out what to do. As she approached the door however she heard crying... Was that Meredith. She pushed on the door and found it was open.

'There's so much blood... It has to work... I can't live like this any more... I have to get out... I have to see-' she never got to finish that thought, the edges of her vision went fuzzy and then she blacked out altogether.

The sight before her seemed so out of place, like it belonged six months ago right after... 'The indecent'. Meredith was sobbing uncontrollably while Brian just sat there holding her, silent tears running down his face. Nether of them had noticed her. She looked at the screen, a news show there were reporters and officers outside of a grey dreary looking apartment building. Meredith had composed herself enough to speak and manages to choke out;

"Why did she do it? Do you think Lauren knows yet?" Before she erupted into another messy round of sobbing.

She felt like she was floating, she could see herself laying there... There was so much blood, more than she thought possible, all in one little person. A dark figure was approaching her, she could just make out curly hair and a guitar at his side but she couldn't see his face.

"Dose Lauren know what" She asked, both of them snapped around to see her standing there. Brian opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the tv.

'And now back to our main story the body of 25 year old Julia Albain has been discovered in her apartment where it is believed she committed subside in the early hours of this morning. Miss Albain, member of popular theatre company 'team starkid' had already bleed out by the time paramedics reached her. More on this later'

"D-Darren?"

"Julia"

"Oh my dead God it is you"

"I've been waiting... Although I would have preferred to wait until it was your time"

"I've missed you so much"

"I've always been here with you, you just didn't realise, and now we never have eternity together"

"What about the others?"

"Do you want to go see them?"

"One last time" She whispered a silent tear running down her ghostly face.

They arrived at the manor, all of the team were sat huddled together in the living room all crying or, in Lauren's case screaming.

"Is there anything we can do to help them?"

"The first day after you pass you're stronger, you can move things, touch them, but when I try look" He swiped his hand at a lamp and it passed right through. "I've been detached a long time, keeping myself here to wait for you, but I have no power here any more, that's why you didn't know I was there."

Julia walked over to a picture of her and Darren after AVPM and knocked it over.

"What was that" choked Meredith walking over to the picture frame. She held it up to show the others "I think it's them, I think there trying to tell us that there together, that there happy"

"Julia, Darren are you there" Shouted Jaime

Julia nudged a Denise's laptop out from under the couch, and Denise got the picture and opened up word.

It took some effort but Julia typed 'Ask'

"Are you with Darren?" Asked Denise

'Yes'

"Are you happy?" Said Joe

'Yes'

"We'll all miss you so much" Cried Meredith

'Miss you'

"Why did you do it Julia?" Said Lauren

'Love'

"Julia, we have to go" Darren said gently from behind her

'Goodbye'

"B-But Julia do you have to go?" Said Jaime, braking down into fresh tears

'Yes'

"Will we ever meet again?" Asked Joey

'Yes'

"When?" Said Jim from the corner

'Future'

"Where?" Questioned Dylan

'Utopia'

"Goodbye Julia. Goodbye Darren."

Her strength was already fading and she could see a swirling light but she managed to type.

'Love U goodby-'


End file.
